March laughs

Beware the Ides of March

1 Like

Screenshot from 2023-03-15 17-12-08

This is funny about “woke”. :joy: :joy:

Son: “Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl.”


Son: “Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl.”

Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?”

Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s daughter.”

Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.”

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!”

Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?”

Son: “It’s Angela, the other neighbor’s daughter.”

Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t said that. Angela is also your sister.”
This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: “Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can’t date any of them because dad is their father!”

The mother hugs him affectionately and says, “You can date whoever you want. He isn’t your father!”

1 Like


Another golfing joke.

One morning, two friends decided to go out golfing. As the first friend got ready to begin the game, he looked up and saw a funeral procession moving along the golf course.

As he noticed the ceremony, he quit what he was doing, dropped his golf club, and took off his hat. He assumed a solemn position and started praying. After the procession passed, he stopped the prayer.

Putting his hat back on, he picked up his club and resumed the game proceedings. The second friend who had been observing the whole show appreciated his friend’s touching gesture.

He went on to note that it was nice to see him take time to say a prayer for the deceased the way he did. Hearing this, the man replied to his friend saying “Well, it’s the least I can do. After all, we were married for 35 years.”

A lady goes to the Dentist with a sore tooth

The dentist looks and says “you have a bad tooth we are going to have to pull it”

The lady says “I would rather be pregnant than have a tooth pulled”

The dentist replies “Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair”

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

“All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”

The airliner pushed back from the gate;

the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual
information regarding seat belts, etc .

Finally, she said, ‘Now sit back and enjoy your trip
while your captain, Judith Campbell,
and crew take you safely to your destination.’

Ed, sitting in the eighth row, thought to himself,
‘Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?’
When the attendant came by with the drink cart
he said, ‘Did I understand you right?
Is the captain a woman?’

‘Yes,’ said the attendant,
‘In fact, this entire crew is female.’

‘My Goodness’ said Ed,
‘I’d better have two scotch and sodas.
I don’t know what to think
with only women up there in the cockpit.’

‘That’s another thing sir,’ said the attendant,
‘We No Longer Call It The Cock Pit.’

‘It’s The Box Office.’

1 Like

This one is funny. We just bought my daughter a record player and went through a ton of my in laws old vinyl

1 Like

Guess who?

Bob Hope is one John Wayne?

Bob Hope is correct, but not John Wayne.

Ralph Kramden

Not Ralph. Hint: Where do the bride and groom go after a wedding.

Jacky Gleason

that’s what I said branchkin