Roger walks out of a bar. He was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his car parked and walked home. As he was staggering along, he was stopped by a policeman.
‘What are you doing out here at three o’clock in the morning?’ asked the police officer.
‘I’m on my way to a lecture,’ answered Roger.
‘And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time of night?’ enquired the constable sarcastically.
‘My wife,’ slurred Roger grimly.
I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
Someone mentioned recently that if you don’t like cats, maybe you have control issues. That hit a little close to home for me.
I love cats. That is all I allow in the house. If a cat loves you, you earned it or they’re hungry.
We had four but are down to three. One of them is scared of men but when the food bowl is empty, he will show you that he still loves you until the bowl is full.
Can’t do this with a cat. Photo was taken about 20 years ago. My son and dog[golden retriever] on a dirt bike.
A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. ‘‘How much do you want for the mower?’’ asked the preacher. ‘‘I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle’’, said the little boy.
After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, ‘‘Will you take my bike in trade for it?’’ The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and after riding the bike around a little while said, ‘‘Mister, you’ve got yourself a deal.’’ The preacher took the mower and began to try to crank it. He pulled on the string a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, ‘‘I can’t get this mower to start.’’
The little boy said, ‘‘That’s because you have to cuss at it to get it started.’’
The preacher said, ‘‘I am a minister, and I cannot cuss. It has been so long since I have been saved that I do not even remember how to cuss.’’
The little boy looked at him happily and said, ‘‘Just keep pulling on that string. It’ll come back to ya!’’
This topic was automatically closed 7 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.