‘We’re headed for a family feud’: My father offered his 3 kids equal monetary gifts. My siblings took cash. I took stock. It’s soared in value — now they’re crying foul

When I read this my eyes rolled big-time. It would have been fun if the two siblings who took the cash and spent it had posted on the CHB. That would have made for some great replies. :grin:

Oh I don’t know… I’m sure a few leftist here believe in retroactive equality.

Not in this case. They made their choice, knowing the consequences. And, entitled people aren’t going to stop there.

This is why I am glad that I am the executor for my parents estate.

This situation is a no-brainer and the brother is right that his siblings have no legal position on which to stand. The gifts taken early are no longer part of the estate. Whats being divided equally now is what remains of the estate. Pretty cut and dry.

In this case, I agree with you because the gifts when granted were ‘equal’ in value. But some courts have gone the other away when an expected heir gets nothing, or less than what might be considered an equitable share, without any explanation. That’s why I have always recommended to folks that when leaving what appear to be unequal shares due to gifts in life or some other reason, just say that in the will.

I don’t think I fully understand, can you provide some fictitious scenarios?

One case I read was when a son was simply not mentioned in the will but all the other children were. There was no reason written or otherwise for the omission, so the son got a share. One issue raised in that case and others was the mental capacity of the decedent when the will was drawn, which these cases often become. Also occasionally arising is a the plaintiff’s claim of promise to make a will issues (a difficult burden). Sometimes the executor settles to unfreeze the estate.

It’s not a frequent claim or easy to win, but it seems unnecessary for a testator to make it more difficult on his/her heirs. A simple sentence why someone was left out or didn’t get something they were expecting would solve the problem. We put such a statement in our own wills because we are leaving anything we haven’t spent to charity. The case cited above is not one of these, and looks like a baseless money grab attempt to me.


This is why having an only child is nice. I doubt I’ll ever marry again, but any woman I enter into a long term relationship will pretty much have to have here OWN retirement and assets…we both worked hard - so my stuff will go to my family and hers will go to her family. So all I have to do is say “my kid gets it all”. Well…sort of. Now that I have a grandson, I am going to leave him something for college or for starting life without college.

But if I were the guy who bought the stock, I’d tell them that I’d gladly give back all the stocks and profits I made if I could have our dad back for just one more week. Would they do the same?

The two siblings who got ‘shafted’ should learn the lesson instead of having sour grapes. If I were the correct sibling, I’d relentlessly mock them in an effort to let that lesson sink in.

Yeah, that would definitely help de-escalate the situation. :smiley:

I’m not known for my deft handling of sensitive situations.

Um…don’t you work in air traffic control?

From what I understand, that is actually perfect for that position.

I deal in facts, not feels.

I dont know about that, but ive always been a plain sense guy professionally and the older i get the less time ive got for bullshit. Im actually not rude to the pilots at all, but when i need their attention i get it without fail.

I would imagine in your spot you need to be direct and to the point with no room for chit chat or someone second guessing you.

It continues and accelerates even more as you age.

I think it is at the same level just a different type… but most of all our tolerance for it gets less as we age.

For me I don’t know if it’s a lack of tolerance but it’s literally a lack of time. I’m slammed and I like it that way but when somebody goes off the rez I start thinking of what else I could be doing.