When competing in sporting events, I have historically had a pretty good “mental game”.
I am able to get past a bad shot in golf, or a strikeout in baseball, or giving up big points in a wrestling match, etc.
Saturday I was on the golf course with my wife, and we were paired up with two singles. One guy about my age, and a younger kid. We had golfed with the guy my age before, and knew him to be kind of a d-bag.
Between the 2 minute pre-shot routine every shot, and the constant F bombs (I am no snowflake regarding language, but this guy was ridiculous), he really was not that good of a golfer (I am about a 20 handicap and I am better), but he was expecting a lot more of himself.
Finally, on hole 8 he shanked a 3 wood and then threw same said 3 wood (it at least landed in the fairway) and drove off, quitting mid round.
The difference in my game from the front 9 to the back 9 was literally 11 strokes, just because this jackwagon was not with us.
I suck at golf, but I played when I was with Sprint because IBM and other vendors often sponsored golf outings. I was paired with a guy from IBM who was good enough to play on the pro circuit. That was great for our foursome because it was a best ball scramble, but still, I got pissed off at myself because of a shitty shot. Maybe one F bomb, but I wasn’t happy after every shot.
He and I were in the cart together and he told me not to be so rough on myself. He said that he knew exactly how I felt because he too used to get pissed off after a muffed shot. Then he told me about his friend who was on vacation with his family and their car was hit head on by a drunk driver, killing all of them. He said that event made him realize - golf is just a game and there’s a lot worse that could happen than a shanked drive. He said nothing more. He didn’t need to. I can still go out and suck eggs on the golf course…I just don’t get upset about it anymore.
I love my wife too much to attempt to give her lessons, but the one thing I say to her is this.
Golf is at least 50% unfucking your bad shots. Once you figure that out, you get it (too bad I didn’t figure that out when I could consistently drive over 300).