Have there been any studies about the mental health benefits of aging in place vs living in a senior living community. I can think of advantages and disadvantages of both options
Keep in mind I am not referring to people who are already cognitively impaired but those who want to try to delay or minimize the problems associated with the aging process
Knock on wood, I am blessed enough to be fairly active and I hope to stay that way. But i call my house my forever home - it’s only 1400 square feet, it’s all on one level and the basement access is in the garage, so there is a risk of falling down basement stairs. I am about to start the process of bringing the laundry from the basement to the main level, so the only reason to go down there is to replace the furnace filter.
If I ever reach a point where I can’t get out, I would still rather stay in my home and have meals on wheels or some other service. I have zero desire to live in an “old folks home”, regardless of the activities they have. If I have to have nursing care, then I’d just as soon be dead.
I think any of us who live alone, regardless of age, need to have a system in place for accidents. Easy to fall, off my elliptical, in the shower, or whatever. There are apps where you check in once a day or it contacts your designated person, and/or someone to do a wellness check.
My dad started showing signs of dementia probably 11 years ago. My younger brother passed away 10 years ago. When that happened, my dad got noticeably worse almost overnight. He continued to get worse over the next 10 years. Mom insisted he was going to stay at home. The last 6 months to a year were not a lot of fun. He passed at 93, Oct. a year ago. His situation almost demanded I retire early to help out. Not sure any of this really addresses your situation. It seems no two situations are alike.
There is a woman named Kim Komando, who has a syndicated talk show dealing with technology.
On more than 1 occasion, I remember her talking about a device that you place around your wrist like a watch. If you take a fall, the device has the the ability to call 911 even if you are unable to.
Don’t know much about the product or even if it is water proof.
Sorry for what your family is dealing with.
Some people are able to stay home all the way to the end. It doesn’t work for every family. I kept my wife at home as long as I thought I could.
I can see how that would mess a guy up. Losing an adult child has got to suck.
A lot of guys in my bike group have a small Garmin devices…smaller than a cell phone. If you fall, it automatically alerts your specified person that you were in an accident, which has proved embarrassing to some since the fell because they failed to unclip from their pedals.
On a more morbid note, the parent of one of my ex wife’s client was in an horrible auto accident which killed the mother. The Apple watch their dad was wearing notified them that something wasn’t right. It also had the GPS coordinates for their location. They drove to the site and got there just before the mother passed. They were rear ended by a drunk driver going about 110 mph. The drunk was treated and released from the hospital 3 hours later. But the point is - apparently an Apple watch can serve that purpose.
I want to go they way my grandfather did. He was 86 and lived in his own apartment. He was sharp as a tack, whether he was talking about World War 1 or the evening news. He had a main aortic aneurysm that burst when he was getting out of bed - back in the 70’s the surgery for that was too new. but the paramedics said he was dead before he hit the ground. That’s how I want to go.
I remember my dad and his siblings having to force my grandfather into a nursing home. At the time I sympathized with my grandfather and thought that his decision should ultimately be respected, since he was a grown adult.
Fast forward 11 years, and I understand why my dad, aunt, and uncle made the decision they did. He was making the poor decision to drive his vehicle in his upper 80s, despite being too slow to do so safely.
In many jurisdictions, the grown children of the elderly can be charged with elder abuse for failing to stop their parent from getting behind the wheel or even living solo and risking being seriously hurt or worse.
I have no idea how I’ll handle the same situation five decades from now — if it ever occurs — but I’d like to think that I’ll maintain enough self awareness and empathy for my fellow citizens that I will understand when it is time to stop driving cars and when it is time to join a home.
I think our happiness always depends on our own internal perspective and attitude. I could have a fulfilling life in a nursing home; just have to make friends like anywhere else. Otoh, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge reality will not help things and will put a huge, unfair burden on my grown children.
Before my husband got sick I asked him wouldn’t it be nice to live in a place where you don’t have to worry about maintenance. His response was that he already does because I take care of everything
I plan to age in place, my wife is 14 years my junior and needs someone more mature around to show her the ropes… duty calls. 