I am curious about one thing, and I suspect it may vary by state:
Is there an end date to alimony that you have to pay? Statute of limitations etc? Or did you make a one-time transfer of assets?
The younger, more naive version of myself never thought about this stuff before getting married. If I ever found myself single again, I do not think I would get married again. Too much opportunity for theft (divorce rape).
GA is pretty good to divorcing dads. Alimony is not automatic and it’s intended to be used for education or skill enhancement to get your wife working, it typically lasts 2 or 3 years. Other states have lifetime alimony, if we lived in Florida I would’ve had to pay her until she can claim SS.
I gave her a combination of cash, 401k, all the equity in the house AND alimony for 3 years. That sounds bad but she was entitled to 50% of my pension and I got her to waive that, this was all mediated. If she had married within those 3 years the alimony would’ve stopped, she married after.
I’m the nicest guy that a girl could divorce I guess. My divorce was amicable and still is…we had a child to raise and it wouldn’t have been great to be at each others throats. She waived her right to half my pension and I did not have to pay child support. We agreed that she would pay for our daughters college (at a state university) and I would pay for food and housing. It all came out about even. My ex and I are still friends. I’ve even watched her dog when she went out of town. Still…I have no intentions of marrying again.
My divorce was not amicable and we’ll never be friends. I don’t respect her and I cannot be friendly with someone I don’t respect. It sucked at the time but when the dust cleared I realized the divorce was the second best thing that happened to me (after my kids) and the timing could not be better.
You’re not the only factor there, homeboy. From your story it sounds like you were dealing with a mature adult when getting divorced.
A lot of people are not so lucky. Often a person is a piece of shit deep down, and it simply takes a long time for the other party to realize it.
I know my story will pale massively in comparison, but this reminds me of a recent parting of ways with a platonic friend, happens to be a female. I have the exact same sentiments you do.
I thought we were good friends, but then she started acting like a fucking asshole when she thought she could get away with it. I’ve always been loyal to my friends, even to the point of being naive, so I tolerated it for a long time.
I finally realized that this relationship was only benefitting one of us. I told her I don’t want to see her ever again and haven’t looked back. Don’t have a single ounce of respect remaining for her, and certainly no fondness.
Then the dumb bitch was still trying to like my wife’s posts on Fb. Wifey got rid of her in the snap of a finger, and I’m pretty sure that surprised her. She’s an idiot.
Sucks when you care about someone and then have to dump them. But I am glad this was merely a friend I could walk away from and not a spouse, dealing with the legal and financial nightmare.