Advice for long term memory care

It’s all good, and I told her that hiding assets is basically impossible and not morally acceptable anyway. She’s just pissed that he gave 8 years to the Army and won’t get help because he was too successful, and I kind of agree with her.

Good point jim about VA availability. Apparently they have an elder law attorney but back in IL where they used to live. I’m assuming they should find one in GA?

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That is one option I had never thought of.
What I was thinking is selling your house to your adult kids and “renting” from them.

I spent over 15 years trying to get my father in law to get his VA card and he finally did it about 3 years ago (I still haven’t got mine, but he doesn’t know that).

You would have the cash from the sale of the house, I think they look back 5 years.

Yeah, that would be easily seen as an asset dodge.

I was talking long term planning.
Kind of like a “reverse mortgage”, but your kids hold the note.

If they have 2 mill. in assets they can invest, a lot of very conservative mutual funds should easily be able to average a 5% return at a minimum. 5% of 2 mill. is $100,000 a year before taxes. A lot of people totally disregard growth of their investments when looking at situations like this.

That is a good plan, my neighbor kind of did that did.

A very good idea. From your comments, it doesn’t appear that Medicaid will be involved. Still, long term care, especially dementia related care, is expensive. The application of those laws vary by state, so it’s essential to have an attorney familiar with your state law.

My FIL died 18 days in, so his costs were paid by Medicare (which generally pays the first 20 days). He had zero money, so we did all the Medicaid research but never used it. My uncle had serious mobility issues and was in a regular long term care facility before he died 5 years ago (he was also a WW2 vet and could not get into a VA facility). My cousin had to sell my uncle’s house and property to pay the $7-8,000/month cost and he closely avoided involving Medicaid.

How would that work? The parents give the house to the kids with a future annuity payment? At the end of the day, there would still be equity that would need to be accounted for? Also the kids would have to pay the parents a monthly amount to satisfy their portion of the reverse mortgage. It would be as if the kids had a new mortgage payment.

My great aunt was on Medicaid for her entire life due to opioid addiction. She went into a nursing home. She had a very small home of 15 acres across the road from my grandparents. When she died, the state sized her home and land and sold it to recover a tiny fraction of what the state paid on her behalf.

Of this $2Mil, how much is liquid and how much is home?

Home is owned outright, they sold in Joliet (suburb of chicago) and paid cash in Georgia. He has a pension of some kind but beyond that all I know if they’re comfortable.

Adult day care for us cost $48 per day, which, when she started going 5 days a week, came close to our mortgage. They didn’t nickel and dime a bunch of stuff, but they did charge $10 extra to shower her, so we paid that 3 days a week after a while.

As for all the stuff regarding assets and such, you REALLY need to have this conversation with an elder law attorney in your state. Medicaid definitely has some rules, as does the VA, but some differ a lot by state and the attorney can help you understand what will work where you live.

In CA, Medicaid is more generous than most. I wasn’t required to go broke to pay for her care. $120K in assets were shielded, along with one home, one car, and retirement accounts. Heck, outside of those, I didn’t have squat, so qualifying turned out to be easy. But, that’s not the same in other states. You see, there’s another reason I don’t complain about paying blue state tax rates.

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I have never looked into the specifics of it, but several years ago when “reverse mortgages” were all the hype on TV (but not to people that knew money) I heard that advice from someone.
The short answer is the kids would act like the bank, but your kids would have to be able to secure a loan.

I have seen relatives go through that exact nightmare. Saved diligently their entire lives. Continued to manage & guard their money wisely, even into their nineties.

But eventually their bodies broke down & the required round-the-clock care started biting huge chunks (whole-number percentages) out of their savings every single month.

The sort of thing that ended up with the healthier wife tacitly/subtly wishing for the end for her husband so that she would not be left destitute. Morbid but understandable.

When I am extremely elderly & on the rapid decline (assuming I make it that far), I hope I can remember that life is ultimately a fatal condition, and eventually it is time to let go. Bankrupting the family savings in order to continue to hardly live a non-life is a terrible deal for everyone involved, except the shareholders of the company dispatching the full time care workers.

Before my sister died, the skilled nursing facility said that after 21 days, they would charge $300 per day.

Not if he needs over 5 years in a nursing home aka can pay for the next 5+ years out of their pocket. The question is how to start the clock on the look back period